This Land Is My Land

Here is an oldie but a goodie

Suffocating In Suburbia

As I drove through my little town of Holbrook, Long Island I noticed a small median area about 12X4 in area with a small sign that said “Adopt A Median.”

So, I can own this little piece of land? How do I qualify for this adoption? Do I have to guarantee it a safe and happy home with two incomes and steady employment? I don’t know.

Of course if I did this I would immediately change the name from median to Stevie GB-ville or GB Town or something. I would load it up with signs and advertisements for my upcoming shows. I may even bring a lounge chair and just tan myself with one of those silver boards to catch the rays. Some sand, a beach ball to complete the mood. It’s my land, I should be able to do whatever I want with it. Invite friends and family over…

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Gutter Bawl

gutter tree

The winter has ended for at least a week here in the Northeast. It’s that tricky time of year when old man winter likes to screw with us and return for an hour or two. With spring in the air, it’s the time when my wife reminds me to take inventory of the damage to the house.Not that I can fix anything, since my ineptness overshadows my desire to get things done.

So, I go outside and what do I see, up in the gutter? A tree. Growing out of the gutter. How did this happen? Did someone plant the tree up there? Where did the seeds come from to create this monstrosity?

I get the biggest ladder I own out of the garage, nearly hitting the car on the way and struggling to maintain my balance. With the ladder in place, I ascend up to the gutter, only to find I cannot reach it easily. I have to stretch to get this tree out. My goal is to get it by the root, or it will just sprout again causing further angst. I reach and I pull.

I got the tree out by the root, because I’m a man, along with a clump of dirt, which found it’s way directly into my open mouth. I always have my mouth wide open when I am working outside, because I’m a stupid man.

Now I have mouth full of dirt and nearly fall off the ladder while spitting to get this filth off my tongue.

I cried a little bit. Hence, the title of this entry. Gutter Bawl…









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Pet Sounds

Suffocating In Suburbia

There is nothing like living in the suburbs with a big backyard

Nothing makes it better than having pets. Maybe a dog or two, or a cat or three. My wife loves animals and we have collected a few pets of our own. I don’t want to say how many or you might call Animal Control. It’s not that bad. 3 small dogs, 2 cats, 4 guinea pigs, a rabbit and 2 finches. Before you judge me, keep in mind that  somewhere in any suburban town there is a house with 37 dogs and 42 cats and it’s only a matter of time before they end up on the news. It’s always the same story.

There is always some exotic animal included. “Tonight’s news; A woman in Mastic was arrested today for hoarding animals. She had 47 dogs, 52 cats and an Emu”. I always say “An Emu? how cool is that?…

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Suffocating In Suburbia

Inspired by the Olympics and looking ahead to turning double nickels (55), I decided to take my bike out of the garage, dust it off, and start riding it.

I go out just about every night and make the trip around my contained housing development. No traffic to worry about. However, last night, I felt the urge to take it to the next level. A new frontier. The great wide open. The main road.

I rode about three blocks in the designated bike lane. Now if you are not familiar with this concept, it’s a special lane for bike riders. It even has a little drawing of a stick figure riding a bike in the lane so you and the drivers know where the bikes belong. However the drivers in my area don’t seem to pay much attention to the bike lane.  Many think it’s just a pre-entry into the…

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Caroline Rhea at Landmark on Main Street

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Thank You Long Island! Comedy Festival Celebrates 10 years!


Thank you Long Island for coming out and supporting live stand-up comedy for the past 9 summers.  Over those 9 years we’ve brought our Comedy Festival showcases to some of Long Island’s top venues, featuring some of the best LIVE stand-up comedy you’ll see anywhere.  This summer marks our 10th anniversary, and plans are under way for another great summer of top comedians from around the country and beyond, top area venues and other surprises as well.  We hope you’ll join us and celebrate 10 years of LIVE stand-up comedy right here on Long Island.

Here’s a list of the many venues we’ve had the privilege to perform at over the past 9 years:

Theatre Three, Port Jefferson

The Paramount, Huntington

The Gateway Playhouse, Bellport

Westhampton Beach PAC, WHB

The Suffolk Theater, Riverhead

Landmark on Main Street, Port Washington

The Madison Theater, Rockville Centre

The Comedy Club @ Theatre Three, Port Jefferson

Gold Coast…

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Laughter too big for the Lobby: Patchogue Theatre for the Performing Arts presents Laughter in the Lobby

Stony Brook Stories

For good reason, a sold out crowd, packed the lobby of the Patchogue Theatre for the Performing Arts. With three acts that left audience members laughing from the first punchline to the last.

Patchogue Theatre for the Performing Arts held their monthly Laughter in the Lobby series, with performances by Stevie G.B.,Joey Giarratano and Sherry Davey, Feb. 13, at 7:30 p.m.

Laughter in the Lobby created by Chris Searles, a member of the Board of Directors for the Patchogue Theatre for the Performing Arts, was created as a way to bring in more comedy for the Theatre. The show was modeled after the popular series Live in the Lobby, featuring local musical talent.

The shows were created as a way to bring in business for the Theatre on nights where there were no main stage performances.

Patchogue Theatre for the Performing Arts, is a nonprofit…

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