Lost in The Supermarket

As I was roaming around my local Stop & Shop I couldn’t help but notice they sell patio furniture. There was a full sized table, four chairs, and an umbrella, next to the firewood and beer. In all my years spending way too much time in a supermarket, I have never seen anyone buy a patio set. How would you fit it in the wagon? I imagine you would have to contact one of the managers, whose headshots appear on the wall of fame, to help you bring it to your car.

Why do they need a headshot for the managers anyway. Do these folks actually go to a professional photographer and get 8X10’s made up? “Yes, I am the produce manager at Waldbaums. I would like a photo session which includes 25 poses and 3 changes of clothes.” If I had to do that I would be as creative as possible.
Maybe wear a head of lettuce as a hat? or just sitting in a pile of Rutabaga,
Parsnips and Radicchio. If I was the head of the meat department I couldn’t
resist hanging meat all over me, replicating The Beatles famous butchered babies
album cover (I wish I had that).

If I was the store manager of King Kullen, I
would wear a crown and maybe a kingly robe. Why the hell not? I say if you have
a job that requires a name tag why be depressed.

Make it interesting.

The Clash – Lost In The Supermarket http://youtu.be/adwgph7EVWQ


About Stevie GB

60 year old stand up comedian from Long Island. My approach to comedy is telling the truth about being married, middle aged and living in the suburbs. I enjoy making people laugh without making them feel uncomfortable. My act is clean and clever. Featured in Newsday and on News12. Winner of the Huntington Arts Council Laff-off, 2006. 3rd place winner of LI Press Best of LI 2011, A regular on The Long Island Comedy Festival for 9 consecutive years. Opened for Dennis Miller, Louie Anderson, Kevin Pollak, Bobby Collins, Bob Nelson, Uncle Floyd, Kevin Meaney, and many more.
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