Lost in The Supermarket

As I was roaming around my local Stop & Shop I couldn’t help but notice they sell patio furniture. There was a full sized table, four chairs, and an umbrella, next to the firewood and beer. In all my years spending way too much time in a supermarket, I have never seen anyone buy a patio set. How would you fit it in the wagon? I imagine you would have to contact one of the managers, whose headshots appear on the wall of fame, to help you bring it to your car.

Why do they need a headshot for the managers anyway. Do these folks actually go to a professional photographer and get 8X10’s made up? “Yes, I am the produce manager at Waldbaums. I would like a photo session which includes 25 poses and 3 changes of clothes.” If I had to do that I would be as creative as possible.
Maybe wear a head of lettuce as a hat? or just sitting in a pile of Rutabaga,
Parsnips and Radicchio. If I was the head of the meat department I couldn’t
resist hanging meat all over me, replicating The Beatles famous butchered babies
album cover (I wish I had that).

If I was the store manager of King Kullen, I
would wear a crown and maybe a kingly robe. Why the hell not? I say if you have
a job that requires a name tag why be depressed.

Make it interesting.

The Clash – Lost In The Supermarket http://youtu.be/adwgph7EVWQ

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About Stevie GB

57 year old stand up comedian from Long Island. My approach to comedy is telling the truth about being married, middle aged and living in the suburbs. I enjoy making people laugh without making them feel uncomfortable. My act is clean and clever. Featured in Newsday and on News12. Winner of the Huntington Arts Council Laff-off, 2006. 3rd place winner of LI Press Best of LI 2011, A regular on The Long Island Comedy Festival for 9 consecutive years. Opened for Dennis Miller, Louie Anderson, Kevin Pollak, Bobby Collins, Bob Nelson, Uncle Floyd, Kevin Meaney, and many more.
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