Here Comes The Weekend

Summer weekends in the suburbs are supposed to be filled with fun in the sun. Baseball, barbecues, and driving to the beach in your Chevrolet.

Unless you are a home owner. Then it’s clean out the shed or the garage and going to Home Depot and Lowes to beat the crowd for the sale on fertilizer.

I don’t care how cheap it gets, I refuse to stand on line before the place opens to get the first bag of manuer. Mowing, trimming, pruning, rototilling, thatching. These words have replaced running, skipping and jumping in my weekend vocabulary.

But how can I complain? I am living the dream. Owning a home in the suburbs. The American dream. They didn’t tell us it was a nightmare. My wife is famous for ending every sentence “after this, we are done.” She lies. We are never done.

I can’t wait to sell this house and move to some over 55 community for “active” adults. That’s the new term for old age home. I will throw away my rakes and trimmer and snow shovels and buy a rocking chair. I will sit on my little 2 X 6 front porch alloted to me by the gated community facist regime and fall asleep in the sun. Probably wake up with a sunburn on half of my face but I won’t care. I will gladly wait on line for the sale on Calamine lotion.

Now that is MY American dream.

Daily Theme Song:
Dave Edmunds – Here Comes The Weekend


About Stevie GB

60 year old stand up comedian from Long Island. My approach to comedy is telling the truth about being married, middle aged and living in the suburbs. I enjoy making people laugh without making them feel uncomfortable. My act is clean and clever. Featured in Newsday and on News12. Winner of the Huntington Arts Council Laff-off, 2006. 3rd place winner of LI Press Best of LI 2011, A regular on The Long Island Comedy Festival for 9 consecutive years. Opened for Dennis Miller, Louie Anderson, Kevin Pollak, Bobby Collins, Bob Nelson, Uncle Floyd, Kevin Meaney, and many more.
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One Response to Here Comes The Weekend

  1. dba says:

    As all I also like weekend. Weekend means masti, Fun , Rock, Every this.. Go out with friends Do fun …

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