Following your dreams is a nightmare

250px-Freddy_KruegerI was watching an interview with Serena Williams. A documentary is coming out about The Williams sisters, the tennis pros. She said she never feels fully accomplished. She always feels like she has so much more to do. It sounds insane to think that she feels that way. Bob Dylan said “an artist is always in the state of becoming”. Like him or not, you have to admit Dylan has accomplished quite a bit, yet still feels like he hasn’t arrived. It made me realize why I sometimes feel unfulfilled.

I have a dream, just like anyone. It’s nice to have a dream of something bigger than yourself. I am not sure how to live without some goal in mind. The curse of having a dream is watching it start to come true. Whenever you have a little piece of your end goal come into fruition, it’s nearly impossible to resist the urge to go “all in.” Get an RV and just travel around broke and free.

I am not sure if I want to go for it, for fear that it may become that four letter word, “work.” My dream is making the rest of my life a nightmare. I can’t go a day without thinking about a future performance date or dates, or some new project. I get depressed if I don’t have enough dates booked. I have a fear that it may all come to an end.

People are supportive and tell me nice things like “wow you are doing great” or “you are on your way”. I don’t feel that way. I feel like I am going in circles. Two steps forward three steps back. I know I have to get off Long Island. I have exhausted my audience. As I get older it’s hard to think about travelling. I get anxious driving. I have night blindness and pee 75 times a day.

I can’t quit. Every time I think about quitting, something good happens. I like to
think it’s somebody up there keeping me going. Some divine intervention maybe.

It could be Freddy Krueger.

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About Stevie GB

57 year old stand up comedian from Long Island. My approach to comedy is telling the truth about being married, middle aged and living in the suburbs. I enjoy making people laugh without making them feel uncomfortable. My act is clean and clever. Featured in Newsday and on News12. Winner of the Huntington Arts Council Laff-off, 2006. 3rd place winner of LI Press Best of LI 2011, A regular on The Long Island Comedy Festival for 9 consecutive years. Opened for Dennis Miller, Louie Anderson, Kevin Pollak, Bobby Collins, Bob Nelson, Uncle Floyd, Kevin Meaney, and many more.
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One Response to Following your dreams is a nightmare

  1. marlhtv says:

    You are doing great Stevie. Besides, when you stop, that is when you have failed. Keep moving forward, keep coming up with wonderful ideas and you will see things happen even more so than before!

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